2072012

13

I lie in my bed, a whole film is about my thoughts. Nothing is more 100% clear. This is my fault, by me, Thomas is dead, I can only think. I get up and walk to the bathroom. I can‘t look in the mirror, I don’t want to see myself. I open a cupboard and pick up my mother's sleeping pills, I open the jar and throw some pills in my hand. At one time I put them in my mouth.

2072012

12

I knock on the door. It takes too long and I push open the door, which fortunately is open. "What are you doing?" I hear Gregory saying. "Why?" I ask, and the tears running down my face. "That bastard kept you away from me!" He says. "He is not a bastard!" I scream crying. "Why don’t you understand, now we can be together." He says. "You're crazy!" I scream and I walk away, but he grabs my wrist. I beat him and give him a hard kick to his groin. Gregory collapses on the ground. "Slut!" He yells. But I pull myself don’t care.

2072012

11

When I wake up I am not in my own bedroom, but Thomas bedroom. Thomas arms are around me. He's still asleep and snoring softly. What makes him so innocent. I shake him gently awake. His eyes slowly opened and I give him a kiss. First he looks at me puzzled and then recognized planning. "Do we have tonight ...?" He asked with a sleepy voice. "Yes, we kissed but more not." I say with a grin. He bends his head toward me and kissed me. Even I forget everything about Gregory. "We just had breakfast?" He asks. "Yes I am starving." I say. He walks down and I follow him. We come into a kitchen that is very 'tight' is arranged. In the middle is a sink as you always see in the series. I sit on it and look at Thomas. "Where are your parents?" I ask. "They are both somewhere else abroad for their work." "And your brother or sister, or do you don’t have one?" I ask curiously. "A brother who is 2 years older than me. Robert is probably with his girlfriend." He says. "What do you want to eat?" He asks. "Hum ... you" I say laughing. He turns to me and looks at me with a grin. He walks up to me and leans his head toward me but stops just before my lips. And immediately I think back on yesterday. Thomas sees the change to my face. "What are you thinking?" He asks. "Yesterday .. Gregory did the same. And kissed me, and I resisted. But he was too strong." I rattle on. The tears welling up again and I don’t hinder them. Thomas gives me a hug "Sorry, I did not want that memory generation." He says regretfully. "It's not your fault, you were not there you had no way of knowing." I look out the window and it scared me bad. "T-there." I say scared. I feel that I start to shake. "What?" Asks Thomas. "L-look out." I say stuttering. Thomas looks out and I see the terror on his face. And then changed his look of shock to anger. Thomas rushes out. "No!" I yell after him. I run after him and try to stop him. "He's not worth it." I tell him, but Thomas does not listen. He rushes to the other side of the street. "What are you doing here?" I hear Thomas almost screaming. "I'll just visit my girlfriend." Gregory says, grinning. He enjoys the anger of Thomas. "I. Am. Not. Your. Girlfriend." I yell at him. Thomas is more angry and walks towards him. They are now a few feet apart. Thomas Gregory gives a push. "Oh, we go hit?" Says Gregory.

There is a struggle. I'm terrified and don’t know what to do. I keep looking. I hear a bang and Thomas falls on the ground. Thomas lies motionless on the ground. And then I see Gregory, he just stands there with a frightened look on his face and a bloody knife in his hand. I scream and run to Thomas. I shake him back and forth "Thomas!" I yell at him. But he remains dead still. It keeps blood from the wound on his chest currents I try to stop it, with my hands, my shirt but it does not. I scream again. "Thomas! No! Wake up!" But it doesn’t work. Then suddenly an ambulance ride and behind a police car. "Here!" I scream. If the ambulance stops a woman from jumping. She runs to Thomas. I feel a hand on my shoulder and scream. "Relax, we'll help you." Says a low male voice. I turn around and there is a small man in a police uniform. "What happened?" He asks in a friendly tone. "M-my ex h-had a k-knife." I said tearfully. "And who's your ex?" Asks the man further. "G-Gregory Marshall." I say. "And where is he?" Asks the man again. And then suddenly it strikes me that Gregory does not state where he stood. "I-I do not know. As he stood there." And I point to the spot where he had stood. "You need to go with us to the office." Says the man. "No! I want to go with Thomas, to the hospital." I say. "I'm sorry to say but the boy did not survive."

I get a blur before my eyes, I walk away. The man calls after me but I just walk by.

2072012

10

I sip on my hot chocolate. Thomas is roaming in his bedroom. I follow him intently from his bed. "I'm getting nervous of you, Thomas." I say. "I just try to understand why you don’t want to go to the police and stuff." He says. "I-I just can’t, after all he did to me I still care about him. And I don’t want someone that because of me is arrested." And I start to sob. Thomas stops pacing and sits down beside me on the bed. He puts his arms around me. "I don’t want you to be sad." He says. "I just trying to understand." "I'm afraid of him. If I specify for I fear that he learns something and calling at me. He follows me everywhere and always comes when I'm alone." I say. "Don’t be afraid of him, that is just what he wants. Because if you're afraid you're weak and he can be persuaded to return with him, and  you don’t want that, isn’t it?" He asks. "No! absolutely not." I say. "Just try as much as possible close to people. Make sure you are never alone." He says. "Who should I be? Caroline and Sophie find that I must make good with Gregory." I say. Thomas takes my face between his two hands, he bows his head to me, "With me." He says and kisses me.

2072012

9

If I go to the bike course after a long school day Thomas comes to walk beside me. "I'm sorry about this morning." He says. "It does not matter, I think it’s really nice from you." I say with a little blush on my cheeks. "Shall we go for a drink?" Asks Thomas a little shy. "Yes, that’s okay." I say. We cycle to a small pub on the other side of town "as a distraction" Thomas had said. The ride to the pub was very quiet, we both don’t knew anything to talk about, what it made very uncomfortable.

"Beer? or something else?" asked Thomas to me. "Surprise me." I say with a smile. "You're already 16, aren’t you?" He asks for verification. "Yes" I say. Thomas goes to the bar and ordered our drinks. Thomas put the two glasses of beer on the table and go sit gainst me. "So ..." he says.

"I'll go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back." I say and walk to the toilet. I glance in the mirror at myself, "You look good, just like always." To hear a familiar voice behind me say. I turn to the doorway and see where Gregory leaning against the doorjamb. "Go away!" I scream. He closes the door behind him and turns him locked "Esther, quiet." He walks up to me and every step he comes closer to me I put one back. But then I am against the wall. But he is still walking to me until he was a foot away from me. "Go away!" I say again. My look scared and he sees that. "Are you afraid of your boyfriend?" He asks with a grin. "You are my ex." I say. "No! Really not, you still love me." He says. He bows his head to me his lips hang, I try to push him away but he grabs me by my wrists and pushes them against the wall. He kisses me, I boggle against it but he is too strong. Then I suddenly rammed the door "Hey!" I hear an unfamiliar voice calling. Gregory let me loose and frightened. I run into an toilet and lock it. "Bitch!" He yells. He pounds on the door of the toilet cubicle. "Come out!" He yells. But I am still on the toilet door banged. Gregory screams and slams the door. But then I hear a door open. "Man what are you doing?" Said an unfamiliar voice. And then I hear Thomas' voice “Esther! Where are you?" He says. "That slut of you sitting here." Says Gregory and I hear a thump on the door. And then I hear a bang. "Call her never again like that." I heard Thomas say angry. I turn the toilet door lock and open it a crack. I see through that little crack in everything; Gregory sitting on the ground with his hands on his face, Thomas with a confused look to watch and have no clue what to do. I open the door and walk off to Thomas, I give him a hug. I feel tears welling up and do not hinder them. "Are you okay?" Asks Thomas. "What has he done?" "Can we please go, I want as quickly as possible." I say. "Sure" he says.

1872012

8

I put the key in my locker and get my books out. “Are you allright?" Thomas asks suddenly. I lock my locker again, and there stands Thomas leaned at the lockers next to mine. "A little." I answered his question. "Have you heard from him again?" He asks. "He has sent me flowers with a card that said he was sorry." I say. Then suddenly I see Gregory walk past. He look to Thomas and his look is like he could murder him. I look at him and he looks at me. I hope he sees the hatred in my eyes. "Slut" he says quietly, so no one hears and only I am touched. But Thomas saw it too. I see the anger in his eyes, and before he does anything I drag him away. "Don’t, this is my problem." I tell him. Thomas looks frustrated and can’t stop his head. "He can’t hurt you like this." He says angrily. "I can handle it." I say reassuringly "No you can’t! don’t you see that." He puts his hands on my shoulders, shaking me back and forth as he says. "Go now to the police!" He almost shouts. People start to look like they already did not. "Thomas, relax. It will be all right." I try to reassure him that, but it is counterproductive and he starts talking louder "This is no fairy tale, Esther, where everything is always right. This is the real world!" He shakes me harder up and down. My math teacher walks past "Esther, does he bother you?" He asks. "No, no. Nothing wrong." I say and he walks on. "Thomas, you can stop now, please. I don’t want to think about it, okay?" I say as calmly as possible against him and I walk to my class.

1872012

7

"Hey mom" I yell into the quit house. I walk to the kitchen and go looking for something to eat. On the table stands a vase of flowers. There is a ticket on it. I look from who it is:

Esther,
I'm sorry.
Gregory
 
I throw the card in the trash and wants to bring flowers to the bin. "What are you going to do with it?" I hear my mother's voice suddenly behind me say. "Disposal" I will answer her question. "Why? They are so beautiful." She says. "I don’t want them, okay? but if you want to keep then you should put them somewhere where I don’t see them." I say bits. My mother knows nothing of the texts and cards of Gregory, she always found him very nice and she think it’s terrible that I have broken up with him. "Why are you so mean to him, he just want to make amends. Why not give him another chance?" My mother says. "No Mom. I just don’t want that." I say and I walk to my room.

1672012

Look Inspiration...

Love,

Me

sources: www.lookbook.nu

1672012

6

"Who is that hot boy?" Asks Caroline. "That’s Thomas, I think. He is two years older than us." Says Sophie. "He is indeed handsome." I say. Gregory comes over. "Be careful Gregory." Said Caroline, laughing. I give Gregory a kiss. "Why should I be careful?" He asks. "For that delicious thing there." Sophie says, laughing. "Oh, that I would never do." I say, grinning. "Also not such a good thing?" Asks Caroline. "Uh .." I pretend I have to think about it. "Not if I have Gregory." I say. I give Gregory a kiss, which he greedily goes.

1672012

5

If I exit the school I see Gregory on the other side of the street with his bicycle. I bike fast the other way even though I drive it around. But if I am repulsed he suddenly beside me cycling. "Why avoiding you me?" He asks. "Because you're bothering me." I say. I ride a street where I was not in courage. But Gregory saw it and followed me. "I saw you in the hall with Thomas though." He says. "I just bumped up against him." I put out irritated. I ride a street in back but Gregory still follow me. "Leave me alone." I say scared. I brake and turn but Gregory will hold me back. "Why have you not realize that I love you?" He says with a desperate voice. "Why are you so slutty that you're right back with another." He continues. "I'm not with another!" I scream. Gregory grabs me and I try to wrest but he is too strong. "Let me go!" I scream. "Only if you admit that you still love me." He says angrily. "No!" I scream. Gregory pushes his lips on mine, and I push him away. "How dare you push me away." He yells. Gregory lifts his hand, I close my eyes and wait for the blow. But I feel nothing and when I open my eyes, I see that Thomas Gregory's arms behind his body holds. "Let me go!" Cries Gregory. Thomas let Gregory loose. "Get outta here!" Said Thomas against Gregory. Gregory grabs his bike and ride away "Slut!" He yells at me. "Are you okay?" Asks Thomas worried. "Well no not really. Where did you suddenly come from? "I ask. "Uh, I live here." He says, pointing to the house behind us. "Do you otherwise come in?" He asks. "Yes please. Then I can just call my mom. "Thomas walks to the door of the main house, I did not know that his parents were so rich. "You want a something to drink or to eat?" He asks. "Something to drink, please." I say.

I sit on the bench and grab my mobile. I just want to call my mother when I get a text message from Gregory.

I'm sorry, I did not had to

beat you. But you
start your boyfriend calls
there, says just more that
you're a slut.
xxx IStillLoveYou

"That's not a text message from Gregory, isn’t it?" I hear Thomas say that just suddenly walked into the room with 2 glasses of drink. "Yes it is him." I said sadly. "May I?" He asks, pointing to my phone. I nod, and Thomas picked up my phone. I see his face that gets angrier. "You can read them all, if you want to." I say. After fifteen minutes, he read them all "He's crazy! You should report him, he is stalking you." He says. "No, I can’t." I say. "Why not?" He asks. "Because I still carry about him, and people think I am to mean to him." "You're not mean, he's the mean one. And if you don’t do anything it gets worse." Said Thomas worried. "I'm fine." I see a frown on Thomas's face. "Really" I say. "But I have to go soon because I have to go to my tennis lesson." I say after it. "Shall I go with you home, maybe he waits for you somewhere." "You don’t have to,  I'm fine." I say again. "I do care, I just don’t want you to get in danger." He says.